into the void

hey void, it's me again… thanks for being here in the abyss with me

preludes


author’s note | reflection

monday, november 10th, 23:03:33
from the apple notes vault.

i have no idea when i originally wrote these. they read like fragments…drafts…echoes of someone i once was.

i guess i have been writing about the same things all along.

look into the mirror →


an apple notes compilation

1. “resistance”

when people throw stones at you 
use them to build the foundation of the walls that surround you.
use them as the stepping stones necessary when the ground feels like it's caving in.
when people throw stones at you,
throw them back.

2. “ache: I”

blood runs red. 
i run back.
blood clots.
scabs form.
wounds heal.
back to what?
pain is temporary,
but scars are forever.

3. “ache: II”

how do you justify a lie 
with more lies?
how do you apologize
with more apologies?
how do you love
with no real love?

4. “ache: III”

hate is strong. 
love is weak.

5. “ache: IV”

darkness overcomes me. 
light surrounds me.
yet i still feel cold and alone.

6. “light”

your smile brings me warmth. 
your laugh brings me joy.
your heart brings me love.
you give me hope.

7. “void.”

i realized that i'm going to die alone. 
and that i will truly never be happy.
and that, in fact,
i am already alone.

they say that pain is only temporary.
but how can something you feel every day be temporary?
they say that pain is only temporary.
yet every day i feel pain in indescribable ways.
they say pain is only temporary.
they say pain is only temporary.
they say pain is only temporary.

maybe they're right–
once you've gone numb.

pain is only temporary.

it comes in waves.
shutters.
wood that's gone rotten.
drowning.
barely floating.
a leaf.
brown.

✦ dark matter.

huh? the helly is dark matter??

heavy thoughts, vents, confessions — the unseen weight of the void

dark matter

read more →

also on @tovenusfrommars

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