author’s note | REFLECTIOn
monday, november 10th, 2025 @ 18:16:26
i almost didn’t post this one on here. re-reading it now, i’m in a much different place and state of mind than i was then. i absolutely hate this piece. i didn’t think that feeling was possible.
it’s not me, and i don’t think it ever was… but i guess that’s up to the reader to interpret now, right?
look into the mirror →
hunger / surrender / pain / erasure
hunger
02:25
i wish i could soak you up—
take you in with my eyes alone.
devour you with every breath,
pick you up like it’s my heartbeat,
resuscitated.
how can i pretend this isn’t real?
is it possible to be devoid
of what this really means?
i wish to have you consume me
the way you fill
the void in my thoughts.
eat me up—
nibble by nibble,
bite by bite—
like i’m your last meal
on this fine earth.
on your knees,
like a prayer,
grasping at songs
laced with lust
and sheets sewn from betrayal.
because who am i,
and who are you,
if not just secrets
behind closed doors?
surrender
03:14
i would let you ruin me,
if you only said the words.
i would thank you—
chant your name
like a spell
leaving my lips.
pain
04:30
what am i supposed to do
when you spit my words back at me,
crushing them
beneath the sole of your shoe?
erasure
20:25
am i supposed to sit back
and let you paint me
as someone i’m not?
am i supposed to bite my tongue
while you craft a version of me
i don’t recognize?
am i just meant to feel it’s unfair—
quietly?
because all i want is to scream
and pound on the door
that what you think of me
is a lie
and—
well.
it’s fine, isn’t it?
i guess i can live with that.
Leave a Reply