into the void

hey void, it's me again… thanks for being here in the abyss with me

still learning how to be full

once again, 
i am left finding you myself
in the spaces between us.

it feels unfair
to know i’ve only ever learned
to love myself through resilience—
that my tenderness was shamed,
that softness was something to hide.

i have only ever known
to live in my masculine energy.

i was praised for strength,
but never for gentleness.

to live in my feminine energy
feels new,
unfamiliar,
sacred.

to be surrounded by love
that brings it out in me—
could i bring it out of myself?

why did i love conditionally?
how did it take me this long
to understand
what it means to be loved without limits?

the knot builds in my throat.
the weight gathers in my shoulders.
my hollow chest
still learning how to be full.

✦ part of the take leave collection.

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also on @tovenusfrommars

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