into the void

hey void, it's me again… thanks for being here in the abyss with me

the name you gave back to me

it’s because of you 
that i’ve reclaimed my name—“samantha”.

you said it was pretty,
that you liked “samantha” better than “sam”.

and now, everywhere i go,
i introduce myself as “samantha”
in hopes of hearing someone say it
with the same inflection as you.

now, every time someone calls me “samantha”,
i almost wish it was you.
it feels wrong—
to hear my name spoken
in any voice but yours.

i wish i could go back
and unhear it,
never knowing how it sounds
when it rolls off your tongue—
the way the feeling of your lips
still lingers on mine.

i can’t say that i miss you,
but i do wish
i had never known you.

✦ part of the take leave collection.

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also on @tovenusfrommars

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